Wednesday 28 March 2012

The Fourteenth Doodle

If this lady decided to step on your face, you'd be DEAD. Don't piss her off.

(I'm talking about the imaginative lady who own these feet, not me. I can barely walk in trainers, never mind huge killer heels)

Heels do genuinely intrigue and scare me at the same time. I think they can be super fierce, and tres sexy (yep, I am well multicultural). Yet seeing ladies totter through the tube and wobble down the street in the rain makes me think, 'oh love, just wear flats. You look like a loony'. Who are we trying to impress? Men? Each other?

I, thankfully, wear either trainers (obvs cool ones, like Vans or Cons), flip flops or pumps. Or boots. Heels - a) make me feel too tall against my ridiculously small friends, b) make me walk like a transvestite, and lets be honest, I aint the most girly girl so someone may actually think I'm a tranny in training, and c) they are way more effort than it's worth.

Also, this 'oh, they elongate your legs and make them look thinner and longer' is total balls. They do not do this when you have annoyingly muscular legs like mine - they accentuate it. Hideous.

As the legendary Caitlin Moran said, what else totters along looking like high heels? A pigs trotters.

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